there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
