Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
