Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
