I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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