so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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