I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
