Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
