At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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