Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
