OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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