I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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