I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
