I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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