Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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