Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
