I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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