you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
