wanna go halves on a baby?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
