"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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