Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
