I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Green mimosas i think yes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
