Don't make out with my wife yet
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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