I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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