if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
