We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
