i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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