i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
