we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you didnt know i had herpes?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
