What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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