God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
