God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
