The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
