i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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