he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
