he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
