no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
