Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
