I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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