Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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