I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
