Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
