I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
