so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
