About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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