you would pick up someone in the library
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
