Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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