Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
