That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
