I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
