Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
