p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
